No No No  Don't touch!
by minniblack
Summary: Sirius makes a bet with James and Remus.....How bad will it go?SBoc RLoc JpLE
1. clothing and bets

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

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Sirius Black awoke at Seven o'clock on Saturday morning. Sitting up and stretching, he shook his long black hair out of his handsome face. He pulled on a sweatshirt and headed downstairs to where he assumed the rest of the marauders would be. As he headed down the stairs, He got a few looks form some of the girls. Unfortunately for them he was taken by his muffin. Since December of sixth year he was committed to Danielle Turner. Normally he wasn't the commitment type, but she was different. Sirius Black was in love. Hitting the Bottom stair, he was greeted by James Potter his best friend.

"Morning Padfoot, sleep well?"

"Yes, why?"

"Today is the day." James beamed

Yesterday James, Remus, and Peter were taking the mickey out of him for being what they called too hands on. As much as he insisted that he wasn't they continued to be well themselves. So finally, they made a deal. Sirius could not touch Danielle from midnight to midnight unless an emergency took place.

Sirius groaned "You're cruel Prongs."

"Yes…yes I am now let's discuss the rules shall we?"

"Moony, Worm." Sirius acknowledged the other two boys

As James ruffled his black hair and adjusted his glasses, Sirius went into thought

**'I wonder how Dani will take this.'**

**'She won't be happy is assume'**

"Padfoot are you here mate?" Remus called laughing

"Here comes the lovely lass now." James awed

Danielle was coming down the stairs. She was average height to Sirius' tall person. Her head containing beautiful long blond hair reached his shoulder. It was currently in a ponytail, so he could see her bedroom brown eyes through his grey ones. When he saw her outfit, he choked. She was in those small knickers and his old quittich shirt.

"Dani!" James boomed happily as she came down the stairs

Rubbing her eyes she replied "It is too sodding early and I have no coffee."

"Aw Dani you could sit by Sirius." Peter piped in

"That might make me feel better." she smiled showing her white teeth

"Dani what are you wearing?" Sirius questioned

**'MY girlfriend will not dress like that so any bloke can see what is MINE'**

"Nothing Sirius." Danielle smiled

"That is not nothing." Sirius protested

"What is is Sirius?" She asked exasperated

"That is my shirt and a bloody pair of tiny knickers!" He threw his hands up

"You know Padfoot, it isn't good to keep all of that anger bottled up." James smirked

"I hate you Prongs." Sirius muttered

"Hey Dani why don't you sit down, next to Sirius." James suggested

"NO!" Sirius jumped from the couch

Danielle gave him a look" What is the matter?"

"Nothing I err-"he fumbled for an excuse

"Sirius why don't you tell Danielle about the bet?" Peter asked

Sirius shot Peter a deadly look as Danielle spoke "Bet? What bet?"

"Well, Remus and James said I was too hands on and we made a bet that I wouldn't touch you for a whole day so I said yes." Sirius quickly said.

"Oh." Danielle muttered looking at him before heading to her dormitory


	2. crying and threats

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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Sirius watched her go before turning to Peter. He gave him a glare that sent him out of the portrait hole.

"Wow that was amazing Sirius." Remus patted him on the back

"Oh yes that was bloody brilliant." Sirius rolled his eyes

**IN THE GIRLS DORMITORIES**

Danielle walked in and slammed the door. Her best friend and one of her roommates Kylie Cohen opened one eye then closed it sighing. Pushing her brown hair out of her face, she opened her eyes to reveal a groggy blue color staring at Danielle.

"Dani what happened?" she yawned patting her bed, signaling Danielle to sit

As soon as she sat, Danielle went into a rant "Sirius has decided to make a bet with his friends and it was about me! How dare he justify our relationship on a bet! A silly bet! God how selfish is he the sod!"

"Dani you need to calm down." Kylie looked at her blankly absorbing information slowly

"How can I calm down when my boyfriend is being a total arsehole!!" she said on the verge of tears

Danielle's rant had awoken Lily Evans. To Kylie's displeasure she had perfect red hair that was not messed up and her perky green eyes. Kylie was NOT a morning person.

"Dani what is the matter with you?" Lily asked

"Sirius." Kylie explained

"I hate him!" Danielle said tears spilling out of her eyes

"As much as I wish that were true, no you don't. Now it is Saturday and I would like to sleep." Kylie kicked Danielle off the bed and pulled the covers over her head

Lily helped Danielle off of the floor.

"Hey I know Sirius can be an arsehole, but you know he fancies you."

"Honestly Lils when he does things like this I really don't know if he does."

"Do you really feel that way?" Lily asked frowning

"Yes I think im going to get some sleep so I can get up for lunch." Danielle went back to her bed, hugging Sirius shirt to her

Lily went back to her bed thinking

**'I have never seen her cry over any by before...come to think of it I have never seen her cry. Sirius Black needs to be put in his place and I want to sleep'**

Lily huffed and got out of bed. She walked down the stairs to a half full common room. Spotting Sirius and James chatting, her eyes narrowed

"Lily." James smiled standing

"Hi." she kissed him lightly moving over to Sirius

"Hey Lily…" he looked nervous

"You." she raised her eyebrow

"Me?" he asked innocently

"YOU!" she poked her finger into his chest "Have made the strongest person I know cry. Do you know what that takes?"

"Umm Lily I don't know what-"

"SHUT UP!" she roared" Now I want you to call off this little bet" she glared at James "Go and talk to her."

"Lily that would be defeat." he had the nerve to smirk

"I will make your life hell if she is miserable, and Kylie when she wakes up will be worse than me."

"Right tell her that I'm sorry and she is wonderful." he flashed a smile

"I wouldn't smile if I was you Sirius." poking her finger in his chest, turning on her heel she walked out.

"James your girlfriend is a serious hothead.

"She better not be."

"Oh right.."

"You better fix this because I would like to see Lily this weekend and I wont if she is comforting Danielle, but remember Sirius this way you're bound to lose."

"No way prongs no way, now lets go eat." Sirius clapped his hands together as the two of them headed down to the great hall.


	3. revenge and accusations

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

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As Sirius chowed down on his food, his thoughts wandered to a certain blonde girl.

"Sirius mate don't think about her, it will ruin your appetite." James smiled

"James honestly do you think I even like her that much?" he arrogantly smirked

**'No you bloody wanker you love her' **he thought to himself

"Shut up nobody asked you." he muttered

"Sirius are you talking to yourself?" James asked amused

"What, n-n-n- no." he scoffed

"One day your pride is going to get the best of you Padfoot." James shook his head and got up from the table and exit the hall

"Remus I'm going for a walk." Sirius muttered

"Have fun Padfoot!"

Sirius walked onto the grounds, past the tree where Danielle liked to read under. He continued walking until he hit the forest. Looking at his watch, he realized it had been at least an hour since he ate.

"I'm bloody hungry."

Sirius began walking towards the castle when he heard his name being shrieked.

Closing his eyes he winced "Damn!"

"SIRIUS BLACK!" was shrieked again but closer this time

Looking up, he saw Kylie walking towards him, wand out and not looking particularly happy.

"Kylie love how good to see-"

"DON'T EVEN SAY IT!"

"Okay I know you're angry at me, but there is no need for wand use." he backed away, a little afraid

"ANGRY! Sirius you have not seen me angry." she whispered deathly calm

**"Imagine if you broke up with her, it could be worse' the** voice in his head told him

"Kylie!" came the voice of Remus.

Sirius sighed in relief that he was followed by other students

"Kylie calm down." Remus soothed

With a swift move of her wand, bats began to fly at Sirius pecking at him and biting him in all different directions.

"Ahhh Owww gmfff geroff!!"

Students began laughing, as Remus took Kylie out of Sirius general direction. Danielle heard the noise while walking to the library and ran outside. She pushed her way through the crowd, hearing the voice she knew all too well...

"Sirius?" she asked making her way through the front

Hearing his screaming she tried not to laugh, but couldn't help it. It seemed that Kylie had hit him with the bat bogey hex.

"Oh dear god." she laughed

Sirius saw her and began screaming louder for help.

Shaking her head at him, she began to walk away, but was grabbed by Professor McGonagall.

"Ms. Turner so wonderful I ran into you, now what is going on?"

"Sirius was being a prat so he got hit with a bat bogey hex." she smiled simply

"By who?"

"Can't really say Professor, but I do suggest you help him before he dies or something."

"Yes well Ms Turner we can talk about it in detention tonight at nine o'clock."

"But I didn't do anything!" she protested

"Sirius Black's girlfriend always does something." she smiled and rushed off to help

"Bloody cat woman…" Danielle muttered before heading to the library


	4. I'm sorry!

I know it's been forever and seven days since I updated!

I need ideas, so reviews, comments anything really would be appreciated!!!

new chapter this week I promise!

much love

-Barbee


	5. getting what he deservs

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

I know it took me forever to update. School is crazy now...thanks for all your reviews!

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Danielle was still muttering about McGonagall when she ran into James in the hallway.

"Oh James sorry" She looked up at him.

"It's okay. I heard about the Bat bogey hex, and I wanted to check it all out seeing as I'm head boy" he grinned mischievously.

"Right James. Did you know I got detention because of Sirius?" She began to rant when Sirius came in looking wounded with McGonagall at his heels.

"Prongs" He grinned "Dani."

"Prat" She looked at him and rolled her eyes. And turned to walk away

"MISS TURNER!"

"Yes professor?" she turned to face her

"You and Mr. Black in my office now!" she snipped

"Oh sounds delightful" Danielle sarcastically said. Waving to James she turned to the cat like woman glaring at her.

"I'm excited Minnie" Sirius smiled

"Shut up Sirius" Danielle said clearly irritated

"I SHUT UP! YOU HAD ME ATTACKED!"

Danielle and Sirius were now standing across one another. "IT WAS NOT MY FAULT YOU WERE A PRAT!"

"IT WAS A BET! A SODDING BET! GET OVER IT!"

"OH YOU HAVE SOME NERVE!" Danielle got in his face. "I would never jeopardize or justify our relationship over some stupid bet" Pushing her finger into his chest she continued "You are the most selfish, arrogant, most bloody ridiculous boyfriend I have ever had the displeasure of having and to be quite honest with you, you disgust me right now"

Keeping his bet honor, he sighed and smirked "What are you going to do about it?"

"WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!?" she screamed

"Oi Minnie five galleons says she hits him" James whispered to McGonagall.

She barely had the time to wipe the look of both shock and terror off her face when Danielle's fist made contact with Sirius' eye.

"THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!" McGonagall grabbed Sirius by the ear, while he was still holding his eye, looking shocked. "Mr. Potter would you escort this young lady to my office?"

"Sure thing Minnie" James winked

Ignoring him, McGonagall just marched off with Sirius screaming because of the extensive pain in his ear.

"Milady" Danielle smiled and took his arm. "Nice right hook too. I think It will be black and blue by tomorrow"

"I don't think Sirius will want anyone to know his girlfriend gave him a black eye" Danielle laughed

"Oh but I want EVERYONE to know, actually five points to Gryffindor"

Danielle laughed as they arrived at the deputy headmistress' office. "Well this is my stop"

"Good luck. I now must find everyone" James bowed and turned to the hall

Danielle opened the door to find McGonagall shouting at Sirius for disorderly behavior. Sitting next to him, she saw his eye was puffy and she snorted.

"Miss Turner something funny?"

"No professor" she answered quickly

"So you think hitting Mr. Black in an open hallway is acceptable?"

"Yes. Yes I do professor he deserved it"

"Miss Turner I am losing my patience"

"Sorry professor."

"Yes well both of you have detention this week and next at nine pm till one am scrubbing a room"

"Which one?" Danielle asked

"The one I decide" McGonagall answered looking at Sirius "Problem Mr. Black?"

"I have quittich practice"

"Exactly why it is at nine, you have time to get here"

"Yes professor" he sighed

"Report to me tomorrow night"

"Yes professor" they chimed

Sirius opened the door for Danielle and she walked out, not waiting for him

"DANI WAIT!" he shouted

Ignoring him, she went straight to the common room.


	6. she says he says

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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By the time Sirius arrived in the common room, Danielle had already told Kylie what happened and how it was all Sirius' fault. Thankfully she left the part about hitting him out. He went immediately to where they were all discussing and Lily gasped.

"Sirius your eye is puffy."

"I know." he growled

Danielle laughed and stepped on the table "STUDENT OF GRYFFINDOR!" she began loudly getting everyone's attention. "AS YOU ALL KNOW I AM DATING MARAUDER AND MASTER SIRIUS BLACK." the younger students clapped in admiration. The fellow seventh years merely smiled oddly excepting a few jealous girls. "SIRIUS TODAY WAS ATTACKED WITH A BAT BOGEY HEX COMPLIMENTS OF KYLIE MY BEST FRIEND." loud applause and laughter came in "AFTER HE WAS ESCORTED WITH MCGONAGALL, HE GOT MOUTHY WITH ME, SO I PUNCHED HIM IN THE EYE." more laughter and some gasps came from their peers

"Moony do something!" Sirius urged knowing he couldn't touch her

"Actually Padfoot this is amusing." Remus looked back up at Danielle

"SO IN CONCLUSION MY FELLOW STUDENT'S LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU YOUNG ONES. IF YOUR BOYFRIEND BETS YOUR RELATIONSHIP, BREAK UP WITH HIM BUT PUNCH HIM FIRST!"

Stepping down, everyone looked shocked, but Sirius looked like he was going to die. Danielle looked at her close friends, who had their eyes wide and mouths slightly open.

"This is a prank right?" Lily was the first to gain sense back

"No. He bet on us. That is awful." Danielle looked solid

"Sirius?" Remus asked noticing Sirius look lost "Padfoot?' Sit down mate"

Kylie just stared at Danielle. "I don't think anyone has ever broken up with him ever."

"That is sad." Danielle breathed an awkward sigh

"So Sirius want a date this Friday?" A raven haired girl with layers of makeup spoke

"Oh definitely." Danielle smiled genuinely

"Really?" the girl looked excited. She had to be in fifth year at least

"No." Remus stood "Danielle I would like a word"

"Yes. Fine." Danielle muttered

James entered the common room whistling "What the bloody hell happened here?"

"Danielle just ditched Sirius!" A random first year called out

James laughed. "I think you are mistaken."

Looking quickly at Sirius, his mouth dropped. He spun in a half circle and began laughing again. "This is because I but itching powder in both you and Remus' shorts right?"

Remus was trying to keep from losing it as it was when he glared at James. "No…Prongs…" he said loudly.

James moved to where Remus and Danielle were about to chat in the corner. "Dani I just saw you, when did this come about?"

"When I saw him walk in the common room." she answered plainly.

"Do you understand what you just bloody did?" James' was getting upset

"Yes James I do."

"This is bloody nuts." Remus muttered. Grabbing Danielle's shoulders, he shook them "get a grip Dani!"

"I have a grip Remus." she smiled "Look at him. He is fine." looking at Sirius he had many girls surrounding him.

"You know he is not fine." Remus stared her down

"I don't give a flying hippogriff."

"I think you do, but you are too bloody stubborn to say so!" Remus said rather angrily

Sirius stood. "James…the bet is off." he walked over to where Danielle and Remus were arguing. "Moony go I'll handle this."

"Nice eye." she glared at him

"Yes well the girl who gave it to me has a nice right hook." he smiled kindly at her, brushing her cheek

"You can't just come over here and talk all sweet and expect me to forgive you Sirius. Not this time."

"What do you want from me Dani? I make you my girlfriend, I stay faithful. When is it ever enough for you?"

By now they had the attention of the common room. Everyone was waiting to see if she would hit him again.

"Oi Moony." James whispered

"What?"

"Ten galleons says she hits him again."

"James I will not take part in this petty bet." Remus sighed

"I will!" Kylie grinned "you're on."

Before Remus could look disdainfully at the pettiness of his girlfriend, he turned to hear Danielle say

"I love you Sirius."

"That was unexpected." James muttered

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A/N: Stay tuned to see what happens next! Don't forget to review!!!! 


	7. I'm soo veryyy lazyyy

I know it's been forever and seven days since I updated!

I need ideas, so reviews, comments anything really would be appreciated!!

new chapter this week I promise!

much love

-Barbee


	8. love? that Damn professor

I do not own potter..

sorry it took me SOOOOOO long. I had complete writers block.

PLEASE review

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Sirius stood stunned at those four words she just said. It seemed as if the room was smaller. After a few heartbeats, he realized she was waiting. So was the common room. Nobody dared to speak.

"Well" Danielle broke the ice "Just as I thought. You can't stay in a relationship. You can't love anybody but yourself." with that she walked up the stairs without another word.

"I need air" Sirius muttered walking out of the portrait hole slamming it.

"Well that was….."Lily couldn't finish her sentence

James slipped money into Kylies hand and she pranced up the stairs. In the girl's dormitories, Danielle was throwing pictures of her and Sirius onto the lawn below. After all the pictures were gone, she threw clothes, and stuffed animals that he gave her.

"Er Danielle?"

"What?" she asked

"You just threw two years worth of stuff out the window"

"Oh. HOLY SHIT WHAT DID I DO?" she screamed hysterically running out of the castle to collect her things.

"It's a wonder I don't go mental with all of these bloody people around me" Kylie muttered before going to help with the collection of the pieces left in Danielle's relationship.

"WHERE IS IT!" she screamed

"Where is what Dani?" Kylie asked

"The picture. It was the one where Sirius and I took Christmas pictures with Sirius."

"Your cat."

"Yes we took a well I guess family picture with my kitten"

"That's cute" Kylie smiled picking up a picture of Sirius holding Danielle while she was sleeping

"Yes well what good is it now?" she muttered

"Accio box" Kylie stuffed everything into a box and sent it up to the dorm. "Dani you have to talk about this"

"Talk about what Ky?" she began to walk towards the woods "My relationship is over. He can't be in love"

"Why not make him?"

"I'm not trying to make him. It's been two years. Shouldn't you feel a little more than like for someone you have supposedly been faithful to for that long?

"Well yes." Kylie seemed confused for a second before turning to her and smiling.  
"What?'

"I think he does love you"

"Kylie that is so-" running face first into a tree, Danielle fell to the ground

"Oh Jesus this girl"? Kylie laughed. "Dani get up"

"Well that hurt. Can we go sit? The quittich pitch maybe"

"He has practice right now"

Sighing deeply, Danielle touched her forehead which was bleeding slightly. "It calms me to watch him play"

"Stalker" Kylie smiled

"Yeah well I try"

A streak of red and gold was flying above the pitch. James was calling orders and waving his hand through his hair as usual. Seeing Danielle he smirked. Sirius was playing terribly, but this might give him motivation. This went on for several hours. Sirius noticing Danielle did make him play much better, but he sometimes got distracted, so the quaffle hit him in the face a few times. Eventually Kylie gave up and went back into the castle for some warmth.

"BREAK EVERYONE!!" James shouted. Flying over to Danielle he noticed her clothing.

"Hey there." he grinned

"Hi James" she mumbled through chattered teeth

"Cold? I didn't notice with all the flying I do"

"Leave it to you to flatter yourself" Danielle rolled her eyes

"what happened to your head/ is that blood?"

"yes" she sighed "I was talking and didn't see the tree…just drop it"

"So my keeper is playing much better since you showed up. Ah speaking of the bloke"

Sirius showed up next to James on his broom. His hair was the perfect windblown. Danielle was afraid to look in his eyes, knowing that she would melt in the gray.

"I didn't want you to get cold" he mumbled throwing her his sweatshirt. "Prongs what time are it?"

"It would be….OI MCAYDEN TIME!!" he shifted his position on his broom "it would be eight-fifty eight."

"Oh no" Sirius muttered "Muffin…I mean Dani get on we have detention"

"Sirius" she sighed

"Just put the sweatshirt on and get behind me." He looked directly at her for the first time. It made his stomach twist to know she wasn't his. Flying over onto the stands, he helped her. "Hold on" and zoomed to the castle.

They made it in the knock of time. It was exactly nine-o'clock when they knocked on McGonagall's door.

"Come in" her brisk voice ushered

Sirius opened the door for Danielle and stepped in himself.

'**She looks amazing in my clothes…WHY didn't I just tell her I love her. I wonder if we will be alone in the room. Knowing Minnie we will be….**

"Good evening you two" McGonagall looked up from her letter

"Hello professor" Danielle muttered looking at the ground

"One moment" McGonagall was finishing her seal.

Tapping her foot, Danielle looked at the ceiling at a huge spider web without a spider. Feeling something crawling up her bare leg, she screamed.

"Miss Turner" she looked sharply up

"SIRIUS!! SPIDER GET IT OFF ME!! IT'S ON MY LEG!!"

Sirius quickly flicked the spider off of her upper thigh, pulling the frantic girl into a hug. The professor merely looked pleased.

"The two of you will go to the room of requirement" she nodded her head in dismissal.

Sirius led the way with his wand. After refusing his hand, Danielle tripped a few times. On her fourth fall, Sirius stopped.

"We are coming to stairs. I would prefer if you didn't kill yourself"

"Well thanks mate" she spat at him awkwardly scrambling up from the floor.

Sighing, Sirius picked her up with one arm and threw her over his shoulder. "SIRIUS ORION BLACK OUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!!"

Some of the portraits were yelling at them to be quiet. Sirius heard the sound of footsteps. Knowing it was filch, he picked up his pace.

"Silencio" he silenced her shouts.

Finally reaching the room of requirement, his back was sore from her fists. Opening the door, he gasped. Setting Danielle on her feet, he saw the shock on her face as well.


End file.
